The Epic Blog Of Mine

The Epic Blog Of Mine
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Saturday, May 15, 2010

Mission Impossible Parody: Doralynn

The sky was dark. The descent was rising. Doralynn was shitting. It stank like hell. She came out of the toilet and wore her cool agent suit-the one that was filled with mickey mouses and rubber duckies. She turned on her PDA that cost 1 dollar, she bought it from China. After using it for 2 minutes, she realised the battery went flat and she could never turn her PDA on ever again. That's the price she pays coz its cheap. She then whipped out her phone and contacted Mr Greg, her superior. "Hello? This is Doralynn." she spoke. Greg answered, "Ah yes, hindi freak. Your latest mission is to steal the rare gem in the muesuem of archives in New York city now. Oh and uh, I ate your curry and it was awesome!" Doralynn smiled and headed off to the mueseum after a couple of farts. Upon reaching, she climbed to the top of the muesuem and whipped out her pocket lazer gun. She cut a hole and used a rope to climb down silently as a ghost. She soon realised the entrance of the mueseum wasn't locked and she had just wasted 40 seconds of her life. She got closer to the gem. She then saw CCTV camera's looking at her and then she blinded the cameras by pointing- the middle finger. She could see the gem sparkle. There were motion sensors around it and she had to do it carefully. She stretched her hand in to grab it. She was about to bring it out when her Iphone rang. She looked at her phone and saw: Man Utd 3 Liverpool 0. Being a Manchester United fan, she jumped up and down and cheered triggering the sensors. The security guards charged forward at her and she started taking out weapons in her utility belt. She loaded mentos, m and ms and smarties in her sweet gun. She aimed at the guards and they all got hit. She then took out a banana and peeled off its skin. One security guard was approaching her. She threw the skin on the floor and the guard slip. There were two guards left. Doralynn looked at her hair and pulled her hair. Her hair dropped off coz she was wearing a wig. A few moments later, she realised she was bald. Nonetheless, she threw the wig at one security guard's face and that made him unconcious. She then whipped out a can of coke and drank it in one whole. The guard was approaching. With a big gust of breath, she inhaled deeply and buuuuuurpppped loudly causing the security guard to fly back and faint. Doralynn was victor and wanted to leave the muesuem with the gem. She smiled happily and walked out of the entrance. Suddenly, she miscalculated her velocity of movement and what angle she moved. She tripped on a rock and fell to the ground. In slow motion. Doralynn screamed horribly, like that of a dickless chimpanzee. She tripped on a rock and died. At her funeral, Doralynn's close relatives and family got so irratated of her ugly face that they decided to pour cow dung, manure and fly shit on her coffin and throw it in a fertiliser dump. Doralynn failed. Sucka.

The End.

Yoyo, this is RubbaFace. Another story for you people. That's what I'm talkin' about. And spicy food rules!

Peace and Crap,