The Epic Blog Of Mine

The Epic Blog Of Mine
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Thursday, May 27, 2010

Jack and The Beanstalk Parody: Aqilah

Finally, your long awaited parody: Aqilah! After 2 weeks of voting, you have chosen. The results speak for itself...Aqilah. So...enjoy the parody. And RubbaFace is now officially enjoying himself! Games, food and even more food! :)
(P.S. A new poll will be coming)
(And no insults intended. This story is pure fiction)

Aqilah was a poor girl. She had very little money and she was gay. She worked in a farm to earn money. Her mother often scolded her for her stupidity and gayness. Not to mention how dramatic she was. One day, Aqilah told her mother. "Mom...let me show you some singing!" "Okay" her mom said. "But remember not to screw it up, bitch." Aqilah nodded her head in excitement. She opened her mouth and took in a gust of air. Then as she started to sing, her mom fell asleep in her chair and never woke up. Well, that's because she died of boredom. Aqilah then heard a knock on her door. She opened the door. It was her good friend, Jajewee. She looked like a mutt and wasted her whole life on trying to be the first "wonder woman". Faggot. Jajewee then told her the news. "Hey Aqilah, I heard there's a year supply of "Acting Lessons on DVD" at The Giant's castle. It's very high though. Only a dimwit would try to do such a thing." Aqilah replied, "I am one." Jajewee said, "Sucker." Then, Aqilah mustered her courage and thought of a plan on how to reach the Giant's castle. She was walking to and fro outside the door when suddenly, a pig dropped from the sky. "Ooooink!" the pig yelled. It landed on the ground with a thud. Aqilah, in shock, pointed the middle finger to her mother. (No offense, seriously) She went to the pig. The pig said, " gay..." Aqilah waved her hand. "Oh, it was nothing..." The pig said, "Pfffft....Anyway, if you wanna reach the Giant's castle, you have to first menstruate."
Aqilah was astonished. "You got pranked! Hahaha!" Aqilah breathed a sigh of relief. "You must whack your head on the ground 3 times before you can get the road to the Giant's castle." And with that, Aqilah, whose intelligence is the same as a housefly muck, smacked her head against the ground. What an idiot. After 3 times, the pig nodded its head and said, "I want you to do one more smack". Aqilah, her head oozing with blood and all bloody-red asked, "Why?" The pig replied, "Coz' its fun seeing you do it." And with that, Aqilah smacked her head against the ground. That peanut-brain faggot. The pig passed to her 3 seeds. It said, "Plant these seeds on the ground and it will magically grow a path for you to reach the Giant's castle." And with that, the pig died. Aqilah then stuffed the pig in her mom's mouth. LOL. Then, she planted the seeds and something magical happened. The seeds grew rapidly with full velocity as its vines stretched out endlessly and its thick, fleshy stem grew bigger by the minute. Aqilah then climbed the beanstalk and slowly, she emerged into the Giant's castle. She was nearing the castle. The castle was within her view. Then, she squinted closer and found that Hannah Montana was in the castle. And she was playing "Star Wars". With that, Aqilah fell down the beanstalk and broke her spine. She died. The End. Wait, that's not how the story ends! Let me refresh myself...Aqilah fell down and she screamed, "I'm Gay!!!!!!" Then she died.
The End.
(And Aqilah is really a fan of Hannah Montana...)